My Secret Garden ..

embarrassed again

2007-11-19T12:46:00.002+02:00

He: what's your name?
(I could hardly raise my voice) : Rima7

He: huh?

I: Rima7

He: the most important thing in life is Rima7.Take this little advice from me. Some selfishness is good sometimes

مسمار جحا ودبوس رماح

2007-11-09T19:30:00.001+02:00

عم بكتب وأنا بطريق الرجعة من اللادقية :عروس الدنيا .. ليش عروس الدنيا؟ لأنها المدينة الي مزون متواجد فيها حالياً .. أي مدينة مزون فيها بالنسبة إلي عروس الدنيا

وهالمرة اللقاء كان مختلف كتير .. هالمرة ولأول مرة بنام ببيت مزون .. مزون صار عنده بيت حلو كتير (ماشاء الله) .. وما أحلى الشعور لما بتشوف أعز الناس على قلبك عم يضيف انجاز جديد للقائمة

كل مرّة كأنك عم تشوف ابنك عم يخطو الخطوة الأولى ....

فرحت كتير إنو عم شوف مزون عم يكبر وتمنيته يعلى ويكبر أكتر وأكتر وتمنيت انو يكون عندي القدرة لأساعده ..

تركت ببيت مزون دبوس إلو لوليّة بيضا على مبدأ مسمار جحا يعني ..

ولّا كان لازم أترك الدبوس الي لوليته حمرا؟ ولّا كان لازم أترك دبابيس بألوان قوس قزح متل ما مجرد ذكر اسم مازن بيخلق بسماي أقواس قزح مالها نهاية؟

عم نقرب على حلب يعني جغرافيا عم ببعد عن مزون .. بس وين ما كنت يا مزون رح اضلك الأغلى والأقرب بإذن الله ... وين ما كنت تكون

شكرا يا ربي إنك بعتتلي مزون .. وشكرا كمان عالامتياز اللي على طول بيسحرني لما بيخطر ببالي ..

من بين 6,630,239,437 شخص موجودين بالعالم , أنا الوحيدة الي بحمل لقب : أخت مازن

*********** Reaction

2007-10-30T01:43:00.000+03:00

First of all those symbols do not stand for any word for I couldn't classify my reaction
Second , I'm posting to answer one reader's question , simply because Blogspot.com is blocked , so I can't leave any comment on any of Blogspot blogs .
For any future comments please e-mail.

I made it clear to him , even before receiving this letter, that I had never thought of him this way and that the whole story of him being in love with me didn't actually make sense to me …
He talked about his three-year-old agony , but I couldn't sense much sympathy .. and for some reason I started talking about jackets and how we sometimes do not get what we crave for some reasons we –at the moment – do not know .. but they will all be clear to us someday .. he argued that people are not like jackets .. I argued the opposite .. I told him that someday he would look back at this and laugh .. he said he wouldn't .. I said he would meet another one , he said he wouldn't .. I asked if I can do anything to help –except for loving him surely- he said : nothing . I wanted to leave but he insisted I should wait till he finishes his letter , he gave it to me and I walked away .. read it and smiled .. and later I tried to avoid him .. that would save him pain and save me embarrassment ..

Halla2 you can't describe my reaction as stupid , nor brutal , nor cute … maybe decent? I can't cure everyone , and it's not my fault that some people decided to link me to their future plans without me being consulted first

Love Letter

2007-10-26T00:38:00.000+03:00

He cracked and confessed and wrote to me:

I know we can never meet but my one-sided love is about to kill me. It is the will of God but I want you to know that I love you. Till the day they bury my body I will love you. As I told you I do not have the ability not to see , speak , hear you. Please , let's be always dear friends. Good bye

حب التوت

2007-10-22T00:00:00.000+03:00

حبّ التـّوت هوو محل حلويات فرنسية وألمانية بشارع فيصل .. أو هيك كاتبين

من زمان كنت اتمنى انو جربه .. بس كنت قول لحالي لأ مو هلاء , أول مرة لازم أكون مع الشخص الي عم بستناه "The one" وبس يجي رح نروح سوا

ومرقت ايام ورا ايام ...

وكلما بعدي من جنب المحل بتذكر الفكرة وبضل ماشية

لليوم ..

مرقت من جنبه وفكرت .. بما انه ما في "the one" ولا حتى "anyone" خليني اعمل هل قصة لحالي .. يعني مو لحالي لحالي

أنا وحالي بنروح سوا , وهيك بجرب الكاتو اذا طيب أو لأ وكمان بيكون عملت نشاط مع حالي .. صارلنا زمان لأنو ما عملنا شي يقربنا من بعض

فدخلت المحل وطلعت ومعي الكنز وأنا مبسوطة انو : وأخيراً !

يمكن بوقتا كنت بحاجة السكر أكتر من الايستروجين

بس هلاء حسيت ..

Cry in public .. Feel embarrassed later

2007-10-16T21:58:00.000+03:00

I could sense the flood coming , tears started blurring my eyes , and drowning me in such bitter and salty liquid ..

That's what happened when he said : don't think it too much , forget …

For few moments , everything vanished except for me and my professor who was looking at me in the eye . He could see the agony inside.. and for few moments I felt like he was my dad …

All of a sudden everyone appeared again in the classroom , someone got me a tissue .. and when I thought it over afterwards …..

God ! How embarrassed I will feel tomorrow …. But , but there was so much pain inside and it had to get out in a way or another

ما بتمل؟

2007-10-13T00:31:00.000+03:00

يــا عيــدُ عدتَ وأدمعـــي مُـنهـلـّـة ٌ و القلـبُ بيـنَ صــوارم ٍ و رمـــــــــــــــــــاح

أبو فراس الحمدانيّ

Poor cats and poor me

2007-10-03T15:19:00.000+03:00

A cat has been yowling in one of the neighbors' gardens .. It was yowling continuously without even taking the break to breathe! I kept staring but couldn't see it.

In spite of my hatred for cats and every kind of animals : the living and the dead , the big and the tiny, the walking and the crawling and the flying, I felt sorry for it and thought I should help that cat if I can, so God wouldn't broil me in hell for not helping that poor creature….... I thought it might be stuck or hungry or thirsty .. I threw it some bread but couldn't pour water from the fourth floor and since the yowling continued I thought it is definitely stuck somewhere ….

Two days passed before I decided to discuss the situation with neighbors. I got my mother to call the first-floor neighbor … The cat was in the facing building she was told.

Next morning I went to the facing building and talked to some neighbors : a woman and a stunningly handsome guy .. I think I went red a little bit…. he's tall and cute and polite and stuff …… where were we? … ah ! THE STUPID CAT ...

It wasn't stuck anywhere he told me , I was relieved…but what's all that noise about?? Could it be .....?

I came back home and started digging in the Internet… and the answer came : yes

That stupid cat is making noise enough to ruin the lives of four buildings' inhabitants because it can't find a MATE !
I feel terribly embarrassed when I remember me talking to ppl about this ... surely unknowing and looking like a fool .. well , not a complete fool .. a fool with a good heart

Today , another cat came and this conversation took place :

Cat 1: miaow ..[ with a sigh] ( Hey )

Cat 2: miaow , miaow. ( Hey, dear ) miaow miaow miaow? (no one came?)

Cat 1 : miaow (no)

Cat 2 : miaow , miaow ( it's OK, if they don't come to us we'll go to them ! )

Cat 1 : miaow?????! [with a big smile] ( really?????! )

Cat 2 : miaaaaaaow! ( suuuuuuuure! )

They went together to hunt for a mate , leaving me with all those mental pictures and information about cats in my head ..

They'll be back again at night ….

في البداية كانت ... المعصية

2007-09-23T04:02:00.000+03:00

في البداية كانت ..... المعصية ُ .. سمّا ً مغلـّـفا ً بقشرة جذ ّابةٍ سحريّة .. لهُ

رائحة الموت على الطريقة الحوّائيّـة .. ولكنّ أحداً لم يبال ِ

ولا نزال ندفع ثمن تلك اللـّـقمة اللـّعينة من عقولنا وأرواحنا وأجسادنا الضّعيفة ..

نعيش فـُرادى في قلاع ٍ جليديّة ٍ أرضيّاتها حارقة ٌ جهنّميّة ..

فيها ما لذ ّ وطاب من أنواع اللـّحوم .. الحيوانيّة منها والآدميّة..

وأمّا عن الخلاصة النّهائيّة فإنّـها حقيقة ٌ جليّة :

نعيش في وهم الزّوايا والواقع أنّ أرواحَنا متوازية .......

حسيت ..

2007-05-27T23:23:00.000+03:00

حسيت اني بشعة ومقرفة وشرشوحة وقذرة وسمينة , حسيت انو ماحدا بيحبني واني لحالي بهل دنيا .....

انطويت على حالي لحتى صرت متل الطابة والغريب انو هل شي هدّاني .. كأنو جسم بشري تاني ضمني وقلي رح تلاقيني على طول لما بتحتاجيني .. بس ماكان في حدا غيري ضمني لما بكيت

يالله ما أحلى هل وردة الي اشتريتا اليوم لحالي .. كانت الدموع رح تنزل بالمحل ادام البياع بس حبستن .. سألني اذا يلفا هدية أو لأ , قلتله لأ وانو بدي ياها تحافظ على شكلا الطبيعي ..فكرت بيني وبين حالي انو بدي ياها متل ما بستنى دايماً تجيني..

بتشبه الوردات الي بالبوسترز والي على وجوه الدفاتر والصور..

متل المشاهير..

مع اني بكره القطط وبقرف من الكلاب بس هداك اليوم لما اتهيألي انو حذائي شي قطة فكرت انو حلو يكون عندي بالبيت شي يتحرك حولي ويستفقدني..

آآآآآآآآآخ يا ربي ارحمني بدنيا فيها حيوانات بتحس ببشر أكتر من البشر

وردة حمـــــراء

2007-04-14T23:38:00.000+03:00

كانت تتحـدّث عن حبّها له ، وهو كان منصتاً لمـلكته بكلّ حواسّـه وكـأنّ كـلّ كلمةٍٍ ممّا تقول ستزيد في عمره يومـاًَ

هي تعني له الأرضَ والسـماء .. ولا يمكن لأحدٍ أن يغيّر اعتقاده بأنها ذات طبيعة ملائكيــة ، وأنّها مزيج رائع من أنوثةٍ وذكاء
مرّ بائع ورد جوريّ بالقرب منهمـا.. فأشار له بعينيه أن يبتعـد.. وبالرّغم من أنّ نظراتها الحالمـة كانت مـثـبـتة على الأرض إلا أنّها استطاعت أن ترى ايماءته.. وتحولت نظراتُها الحالمة الى نظرات جامدة
تجاهلَتْ ما حدث وكـأنـها لم تلحظ شيئا ، بل وحاولت أن تضفي قليلاََ من المرح على حديثها .. بعد قليل سألها : أتريدين وردة حــمراء؟
أجابت متظاهرةََ بأنّها منشغلة بهاتفها الجوّال : لأ

لا زال قلبُها ينزف قطرات بلون الورد الجوريّ في كلّ مرّة تتذكـر فيها المشهد .. ولا زالـت تقول له "أحبـّـــك" ولكنـه لم يعلم أنّ المعنـى تغيّــــر

...

Sometimes: Smile = Crime

2007-03-11T00:31:00.000+02:00

I rushed into the minibus..
An old man rushed into the same minibus and sat down nearer to the driver than I was. So I gave him 3 sp to pass to the driver .. He picked a five pound coin from his pocket. Obviously he should have taken my 2 SP and given the driver the 6 SP left.. Instead he picked the two pound coin and reached out his hand to give it to me……………
I said “It’s yours” and since he was a very old man I took a split-second decision to smile .. I thought it would be nice to smile … to make him feel some familiarity. I turned to other two people.. They were smiling ..
Yes it was funny then .. and I couldn’t stop smiling for a few seconds ..
The old man got so much embarrassed and buried his face in his hands…………..

Sorry .. I didn’t mean to hurt you .. Sorry … sorry .. sorry It’s too late for apologizing though……

أهلا شام

2007-03-09T01:30:00.000+02:00

لون عيونك

2007-02-15T03:57:00.000+02:00

Do you know what color your eyes are?
You’ll unconsciously say : Sure ! ....... How accurate is your answer?

Yesterday I was staring at my reflection in the mirror and noticed the real color of my eyes .. They are not black as it’s written on my ID... I found it amazing to realize the real shade of brown they are.
It will be a fascinating spiritual experience to meditate on your own eyes .. to concentrate on every single detail God has created in them, to realize the overlap between colors ..
Just take your eyeglasses off and start falling in love with God’s creativity and your own unique beauty.

And remember one can never blame others for not knowing the color of his eyes when he himself doesn’t know ….

En attendant ses pas

2007-02-13T03:28:00.001+02:00

En attendant ses pas, je mets la musique en sourdine, tout bas
Trop bête, on ne sait pas, s'il sonnait
Si je n'entendais pas cette fois
En attendant ses pas ce matin-là

While waiting for his steps , I put the music on mute , very low
It’s too bad that we do not know in case he’d ring if I would hear at that time
While waiting for his steps at that morning ..

Un soir ? Un matin ? Un hiver, une aube
Un printemps qu'il choisira
Rien, je n'en sais rien, je mets des lumières
Les nuits au bord des chemins

What time will he choose to come?
at night? at morning ? in Winter? at dawn ? In Spring?
I know nothing , I put lights , nights along the roads

En attendant ses bras je peins des fleurs aux portes
Il aimera ça
En attendant le doux temps de ses bras

I paint flowers on doors while waiting for his arms
He will love that
while waiting for the nice weather of his arms

Et je prends soin de moi, rouge à mes lèvres, à mes joues
Pour qu'il ne voit pas
Quand trop pâle parfois, ne surtout pas
Qu'il me surprenne comme ça

And I take care of myself , red lipstick on my lips , on my cheeks
so he does not see it when I’m sometimes pale , he should certainly not surprise me like that

Il y a de l'eau fraîche et du vin
Je ne sais pas ce qu'il choisira
Je ne sais s'il est blond, s'il est brun
Je ne sais s'il est grand ou pas
Mais en entendant sa voix je saurai
Que tous ses mots, tous seront pour moi
En attendant le doux temps de ses bras

There is some fresh water and some wine
I do not know which one he will choose
I do not know whether he is blond or brunet
I do not know whether he is tall or not
but when I hear his voice I will know
that all his words , all of them are for me
While waiting for the nice weather of his arms

J'y pense tout le temps à cet instant, oh quand on se reconnaîtra
Je lui dirai c'était bien long, non, je ne lui dirai sûrement pas
En attendant ses pas, je vis, je rêve et je respire pour ça
En attendant juste un sens à tout ça

I think of that moment all the time , oh when we will recognize each other
I will tell him it was a very long time , no , I will certainly not tell him
While waiting for his steps , I’m living , I’m dreaming and I’m breathing for that
While waiting for just a meaning of all this

Un soir ? Un matin ? Un hiver, une aube
Un printemps qu'il choisira
Rien, je n'en sais rien, je mets des lumières
Les nuits au bord des chemins

En attendant ses bras je peins des fleurs aux portes
Il aimera ça

En attendant juste un sens à tout ça, à tout ça

Celine Dion
………………….

I won’t be breathing just to live THAT moment ! .. I’m not that romantic but this damn day keeps coming and reminding people of their miseries and this song is so optimistic a way to celebrate one’s loneliness and sure as far as I’m concerned there won’t be any wine !

Happy Lovers’ Day for those who have lovers and
Happy Waiting Day for those who are waiting for some special steps

2007-02-11T03:12:00.000+02:00

Five things about me

2007-02-05T20:55:00.000+02:00

I’ve been tagged by GraYFoX so I should write 5 things that you do not know about me

My favorite two words ever :
Why? : The most simple, self-evident, sharp, sophisticated and complicated question ever.
Passion : To me it represents the highest level of positive human emotions.
Other terms I like : Whatever, I don’t care, Sans regarder derrière (without looking back).

My relation with God :
I love God. I’m not a perfect believer though ..
God’s always with me. I always think of Him and talk to Him .. I always try to find answers to my religious questions to become a better believer and wipe away any shadow of doubt .. One thing that makes me not comfortable _ I do not pray regularly as I should be (5 prayers a day) .. and that makes me feel far away from God. God has never let me down ..

My relation with children :
I’m in constant love with children or as I call them (a6afeel) especially those between 2 months and two years old. To me they should be the incarnation of purity and innocence and I get TERRIFIED when I occasionally see only evil and meanness in the eyes of a child.

I still SOMETIMES wave planes goodbye :
I have had a passionate interest in planes since I was a lil kid

I love bookstores :
Whenever I’m in one of them it’s like I’m in Candy Land, but when I get books home… It often takes me real effort to start looking inside of them .. weird ..

ok I’m done ! That was easy … but I’m not tagging anyone .. :D

شتي يا دني

2007-02-01T02:48:00.000+02:00

يا لطيف المطر شو بيعمل لما بيكون في إهمال بشي إرنة لا على التعيين
فورا اتذكرت غنية فيروز

شتي يا دني تا تطوف شوارعنا وتخلا ..تدفق مي وبحر جديد بحارتنا يعلا
خليلي عينك عالدار ..امبارح غرق قبو الجار .. بكرا البلدية بتنوح وبتبكي على كل الصار .. فلان يطير.. علان يطير ..تمطّر وتلم فسدانين

وشتي يا دني تا تطوف حاراتنا وتخرب ..تدفق مي وبنهر قويق نسبح ونشرب

وساعدني لا تبقى تفل ..وتتركني أغرق والكل .. عم يستنى تلمو قبور هل فقير المعتر المسكين .. مطر ورعيد.. برق وصقيع.. وياخوفي لاقيك بعيد

وشتي يادني تا نشوف حلبنا بتغرق.. عتمة كتير ونهر جديد يدفق وينبع
وتتركني عم طل

يييييي مو هيك بتقول الغنية , بس لا تقولوا لحدا

Thank you Iyado for your technical help

New Year, New Stockings

2007-01-13T02:07:00.000+02:00

It never occurred to me that someday I would be writing about my stockings …
Nor did it occur to my stockings themselves when they where a bunch of cotton plants growing happily in the sunshine of beautiful Syria or maybe lovely Egypt. ... However, there is always: First time
They are horizontally striped.. White, green, orange, navy blue and yellow.. Each time I’m wearing them.. It is like new energy is flowing, something similar to Detective Konan’s sneakers.. I wonder if they make stocking of same qualities for heads too ..
That would be perfect.. I myself know some people who are in desperate need of such a thing …
It may seem trivial to write about stockings when others are writing about widespread famine in Africa, genocide, and racial discrimination .. Well my argument is so simple .. This is the only thing that makes me smile right now .

Christmas gift

2006-12-27T20:49:00.000+02:00

Santa didn't come this year .. I didn't wait for him .. I knew he wouldn't come ..It's not because I am a grown-up girl now .. it's that my chimney is too narrow for santa to come down .. I mean he is a fat guy! .. kidding .. anyway ..while surfing the net I found this news.. I got what offered me some kind of consolation ..
http://www.aleppostudents.com/index.php?page=main2_cat&op=view_one&id=636

I wonder what the next Christmas gift will be ...
I love you God .. I really do ..

An accomplishment or a mistake ??? 2

2006-12-22T12:18:00.000+02:00

Leaving the group I used to hang around with in college is my second achievement regarding “bye-bying” people (bye-bying ... :D that was smart! come on! everyone can invent their own vocabulary) Elmohom.. I couldn’t stand them anymore.
One of them is doing Mother Teresa most of the time.. I couldn’t buy it for God’s sake... The girl is totally artificial
The second one is a real study machine; she rarely shows some human emotions; in fact, she lost control of her emotions once when I made her a surprise on her birthday..
The third has got the biggest “Me3la2” in the whole world
I like the forth ‘Bibo’ but she is attached to them …
Therefore, I did it! Yes! I broke the chains and set myself free. For the next phase “Hi, how are you?” is sufficient.
I have a tendency to stay alone these days because I can’t feel comfortable with any of my colleagues.. Moreover, I think I miss “Me”; I need to stay with “Me” for a while. “Me” won’t utter a word that hurts me because “Me” is mute... “Me” won’t take advantage of me either. “Me” will never ignore me... “Me” will stay with me...

Gone

2006-12-22T11:57:00.000+02:00

Sometimes it is hard to believe that something or someone does not exist in your life anymore and sometimes it is ok so long as you are not emotionally involved .. either ways .. each time you lose something you’ll be more experienced in dealing with the idea of ( No longer exists) ..ya3ni some kind of rehearsal ..
A relative of mine died a couple of days ago. Her three sons and daughter mourned for her death , wept and prayed …. she is not there anymore and she will never be again ..Just like that tune I used to hear and the voice that used to come after it …..
What happened is really frightening .. about two weeks ago I had a dream that included her death ..and yesterday I had another dream that included another dead body .. God! It’s scary to think of losing someone that close ….

Horror

2006-12-02T19:05:00.000+02:00

It was 5:30 am. My parents were asleep and no sound could be heard but the sound of flipping Oxford Dictionary pages.. the sun hadn’t risen yet and it was still dark outside .. I was sitting close to the door of my home thinking of a title to the article I intended to write.. when all of a sudden, the bell’s ringing broke the total silence of the night ……
Immediately .. I looked at the near window above the door .. it was all dark outside because no one had turned the lights on .. I didn’t hear any sound of footsteps on the stairs… “Who is that visitor that did not give any sign of their arrival?” I wondered.. no sound, no light and no ringing again…
I froze with terror ..
More than 20 mins passed.. before I decided to tiptoe to my room .. I snuggled beneath the covers and I could hardly call out to my mother .. Mom came fast and when I told her the story she said: “Dear … you know.. the bell is not working well ..last time it rang .. it was a half ringing ..and it seems that it decided to complete it at that time” ..

This incident tells Spears
Hey Spears! Never fix the bell on your own. If you should, check it daily
Never try to play hardworking girl again
Try to get a brain ASAP

Exhibition

2006-11-15T10:45:00.000+02:00

Here are some scenes by which I was deeply affected recently.
Ø A lil girl was grinning with delight because she got that bottle Seles….
Ø While taking my change from the minibus driver I caught sight of his hand... it was paint-stained….
Ø On a park bench, a man and a lil tiny child dressed in an orange jacket were sitting next to each other; the man was busy talking to the orange pumpkin who actually was listening…
Ø Mr.Darweesh, my teacher, was discussing the best choice to complete a specific sentence when the lamp suddenly lit in my head and aloud I said: would haD, would haD…..
Ø In a wedding, I couldn’t convince myself of any fact but the one that the bride was in disguise…
Ø A lil baby was held by her mother with one hand, I said to myself: how brutal!! . Soon I noticed her other hand, it was deformed and paralyzed…

Jaded

2006-09-16T16:15:00.000+03:00

What are the limits of parental domination ? are there any?
I’m really fed up with being treated like a brainless child who can’t decide which lollipop to choose.
“No working for the Red Crescent … you need that time to study” .. even in summer vacation my dad kept reiterating that pretext .
“No hanging out with friends … We’ll hang out with you” ..oh yeah!
“No trips with your colleagues .. we care about your safety dear, we can go ,the three of us, and we’ll have fun !” yeah tell me about it! hanging with your parents is much more fun than hanging with people your age
This chain of “Nos” never ends…and the last “No” I got was today when mom turned down a job offer FOR ME! WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME! Without paying attention to that thing I hold between my shoulders.
It was a translation job ..this was the perfect job for me at this stage of my life! And SHE let it slip through MY fingers.
That was out of bounds , Mom ..
sometimes you both make me doubt your love …

An accomplishment or a mistake ???

2006-09-11T05:12:00.000+03:00

While washing my hands to start writing , it suddenly hit me .. “Should I get my brain washed?”
Ohhhhh no soap can clean the mud inside , or kill these little creatures living on my brain .. 6aib what if I got it cleaned , will I be able to live smoothly , to be in harmony with jerks living around?
Is it right that I’m “inflexible kid” ?
Should I accept being treated foolishly just to prove my “sense of humor” ?
I just deleted one of my messenger contacts .. and that hurts .. it really does! Bravo! That was the accomplishment of my revolution against being treated disrespectfully…
“ there's plenty of me in this world...so start gettin used to it..”
That was the last sentence I got from that contact .. and it made me THINK . Was I wrong? Am I asking for more than I actually deserve?.........
Can I just put this discussion off ?

Help me my blog

2006-08-18T17:36:00.000+03:00

My dear blog .. what can I say to you?
I’ve been reading some Syrian blogs lately … Many of them are cherished by their owners .. They are constantly improved .. and … you are not ..
Well .. To be honest .. I thought of canceling the whole idea of having you .
It’s not my fault that I do not have the ability to express my ideas, to pour them over this webpage.. it’s not my fault that I do not have that interesting style to grab the attention of anyone …in addition to the harsh circumstances that I had to live under lately …
But you know what? I’ll fight for you .. I won’t let you go easily.. You are the place where I can cry and scream.. laugh at myself and smile .. The place where I keep waiting for people to come and hear …
I’ll find someway to tidy you up.. to love you more .. and to make our relation smoother .. I think I’ll give it a try .. and when you are ready .. I’ll think of making you known by my people .. God! that will make me more cautious about the way I deal with my ideas and the way I express them ..
Till next time stay alive !

وجه عربي

2006-06-28T01:11:00.000+03:00

في البداية دفعني تعاطفي مع شعبه إلى الاقتراب منه لشراء بعض ما يبيع ...
أذكر أنني كنت أتجمد من البرد , ولكنني نسيت ذلك الشعور عندما انشغلت بالألوان الزاهية المعروضة على ظهر سيارته, كم تمنيت لو يتكلم لأسمع لهجته وأطابقها مع ما أسمعه في وسائل الإعلام .. وسرعان ما تحققت أمنيتي ... تحدث عن بعض معاناته هنا, ثم أخذ يعرض علي ألوانا مختلفة من البضائع محاولا إقناعي بالشراء , وقد نجح في هذا

كان وجههُ أسمرَ أسمرْ , وملامح لا أستطيع وصفها بادية عليه .. رأيت فيه معاناة شعب بأكمله, شعب موجود حقا ً!!!!!! وليس مجرد صور متحركة نراها على شاشات التلفاز...
كان وجهاً عربيّاً دفعت به الأرزاء إلى القدوم لمدينة (لا يرد أهلها حتى السلام على حد قوله).. رأيت فيه معاناة أمة بأكملها ...
الآن ..... المطر يهطل بغزارة .... ترى .. أين هو؟
أتخيله الآن وهو يسرع بلملمة بضائعه لئلا (تتسخ) بماء المطر .. وأتساءل بمرارة وألم ..
لو كانت له حرية الاختيار .. هل سيختار البقاء في بلده أم القدوم هنا محتمياً بتلك السيارة من البرد والمطر والحرّ والشمس والرياح؟!!!! هل كانت ستتاح لي الفرصة لرؤية ذلك الوجه العربيّ؟
ذلك الوجه العراقيّ !!!!

15/5/2004

Iyad

2006-06-18T17:47:00.000+03:00

It was something related to (magdouseh) that made me smile when I read your unusual (hi)…
First, I was taken by your sense of humor .. then by your extraordinary wonderful English .. soon I discovered how honest and educated you are ..and how caring and devoted to your friends .. A loving human whose love is great enough to overwhelm lovely Damascus , his friends , and his beloved ..
You were the one who encouraged me to start blogging so I bring my emotions out .. Yet you do not know of my new blog
I know that I will never ever meet you face to face ,yet I feel that I can ask for your support and advice anytime … and I am sure you will be there for me ..hoping that nothing comes in between us

All I want you to know is : I respect you and I am lucky to have you as my friend
Thank you God for sending Iyado to me ..

Al-Sabeel ...

2006-06-13T00:17:00.000+03:00

Since my father is spending his sick leave at home I thought it would be a good thing to take him for a walk to the park so he might refresh …
Along the way to the park ..I was struck by many past thoughts , one of them is of that poor wandering seller of (Berioush) .. the one we used to meet on the same way where my father and I used to pass to get to Al-Sabeel Park when I was a little kid .. his distinguished voice resonates in my mind from time to time …..
Finally , we arrived .. and before descending the steps .. we saw a girl running on the steps just the way I used to .. soon we found a bench and sat down…
Memories started flowing into my mind … a stream of photos that showed me in different stages .. There I played with my friends , I got lost at that place and felt regret for disobeying Mom and leaving her sweet hand ..
Ohhhhh Al-Sabeel Park .. What can I say to describe you ? How can I put my stimulated feelings into words?
Al-Sabeel Park … It was the first park I’ve been to .. My parents took me there when I was 4-week-old babygirl.. and since my father was working there I spent much of my childhood running and laughing at Al-Sabeel .... from the very same gate I was about to get out of the park alone when I got lost and did not know which way should I walk in to go back to my sweet Mama …
I still remember that huge blackberry tree my father and I ate from .. I still remember the swings and the slides … It’s still fresh in my mind when I came close to a big black dove and was frightened when it cawed .. It was a crow ……………………..
Al-Sabeel .. You have been my special place .. and you will always be ………..

My Brother

2006-05-30T19:38:00.000+03:00

Love is all around when you are near ....
You know everything .. I know nothing ... and that makes me feel weak and helpless.. but soon all my concerns vanish when you hold me close or when you put your head on my lap like a sweet child and my fingers start diving into the black sea of your hair....
How great this brotherhood is despite of how swift our meetings are !
How giant you are with your elevated education and how dumb I can be occasionally..
How cute you are when raising your voice to go along with a new song that you hear for the first time in a discord way .....
How great this love is ! still I'm wondering whether it will last for ever or not .. I'm afraid of that moment when this beautiful relation collapses .. hoping that it never comes ....