embarrassed again

He: what's your name?
(I could hardly raise my voice) : Rima7

He: huh?

I: Rima7

He: the most important thing in life is Rima7.Take this little advice from me. Some selfishness is good sometimes

مسمار جحا ودبوس رماح

عم بكتب وأنا بطريق الرجعة من اللادقية :عروس الدنيا .. ليش عروس الدنيا؟ لأنها المدينة الي مزون متواجد فيها حالياً .. أي مدينة مزون فيها بالنسبة إلي عروس الدنيا

وهالمرة اللقاء كان مختلف كتير .. هالمرة ولأول مرة بنام ببيت مزون .. مزون صار عنده بيت حلو كتير (ماشاء الله) .. وما أحلى الشعور لما بتشوف أعز الناس على قلبك عم يضيف انجاز جديد للقائمة

كل مرّة كأنك عم تشوف ابنك عم يخطو الخطوة الأولى ....

فرحت كتير إنو عم شوف مزون عم يكبر وتمنيته يعلى ويكبر أكتر وأكتر وتمنيت انو يكون عندي القدرة لأساعده ..

تركت ببيت مزون دبوس إلو لوليّة بيضا على مبدأ مسمار جحا يعني ..

ولّا كان لازم أترك الدبوس الي لوليته حمرا؟ ولّا كان لازم أترك دبابيس بألوان قوس قزح متل ما مجرد ذكر اسم مازن بيخلق بسماي أقواس قزح مالها نهاية؟

عم نقرب على حلب يعني جغرافيا عم ببعد عن مزون .. بس وين ما كنت يا مزون رح اضلك الأغلى والأقرب بإذن الله ... وين ما كنت تكون

شكرا يا ربي إنك بعتتلي مزون .. وشكرا كمان عالامتياز اللي على طول بيسحرني لما بيخطر ببالي ..

من بين 6,630,239,437 شخص موجودين بالعالم , أنا الوحيدة الي بحمل لقب : أخت مازن

*********** Reaction

First of all those symbols do not stand for any word for I couldn't classify my reaction
Second , I'm posting to answer one reader's question , simply because Blogspot.com is blocked , so I can't leave any comment on any of Blogspot blogs .
For any future comments please e-mail.

I made it clear to him , even before receiving this letter, that I had never thought of him this way and that the whole story of him being in love with me didn't actually make sense to me …
He talked about his three-year-old agony , but I couldn't sense much sympathy .. and for some reason I started talking about jackets and how we sometimes do not get what we crave for some reasons we –at the moment – do not know .. but they will all be clear to us someday .. he argued that people are not like jackets .. I argued the opposite .. I told him that someday he would look back at this and laugh .. he said he wouldn't .. I said he would meet another one , he said he wouldn't .. I asked if I can do anything to help –except for loving him surely- he said : nothing . I wanted to leave but he insisted I should wait till he finishes his letter , he gave it to me and I walked away .. read it and smiled .. and later I tried to avoid him .. that would save him pain and save me embarrassment ..

Halla2 you can't describe my reaction as stupid , nor brutal , nor cute … maybe decent? I can't cure everyone , and it's not my fault that some people decided to link me to their future plans without me being consulted first

Love Letter

He cracked and confessed and wrote to me:

I know we can never meet but my one-sided love is about to kill me. It is the will of God but I want you to know that I love you. Till the day they bury my body I will love you. As I told you I do not have the ability not to see , speak , hear you. Please , let's be always dear friends. Good bye

حب التوت

حبّ التـّوت هوو محل حلويات فرنسية وألمانية بشارع فيصل .. أو هيك كاتبين

من زمان كنت اتمنى انو جربه .. بس كنت قول لحالي لأ مو هلاء , أول مرة لازم أكون مع الشخص الي عم بستناه "The one" وبس يجي رح نروح سوا

ومرقت ايام ورا ايام ...

وكلما بعدي من جنب المحل بتذكر الفكرة وبضل ماشية

لليوم ..

مرقت من جنبه وفكرت .. بما انه ما في "the one" ولا حتى "anyone" خليني اعمل هل قصة لحالي .. يعني مو لحالي لحالي

أنا وحالي بنروح سوا , وهيك بجرب الكاتو اذا طيب أو لأ وكمان بيكون عملت نشاط مع حالي .. صارلنا زمان لأنو ما عملنا شي يقربنا من بعض

فدخلت المحل وطلعت ومعي الكنز وأنا مبسوطة انو : وأخيراً !

يمكن بوقتا كنت بحاجة السكر أكتر من الايستروجين

بس هلاء حسيت ..

Cry in public .. Feel embarrassed later

I could sense the flood coming , tears started blurring my eyes , and drowning me in such bitter and salty liquid ..

That's what happened when he said : don't think it too much , forget …

For few moments , everything vanished except for me and my professor who was looking at me in the eye . He could see the agony inside.. and for few moments I felt like he was my dad …

All of a sudden everyone appeared again in the classroom , someone got me a tissue .. and when I thought it over afterwards …..

God ! How embarrassed I will feel tomorrow …. But , but there was so much pain inside and it had to get out in a way or another

ما بتمل؟

يــا عيــدُ عدتَ وأدمعـــي مُـنهـلـّـة ٌ و القلـبُ بيـنَ صــوارم ٍ و رمـــــــــــــــــــاح

أبو فراس الحمدانيّ